Peter Falk

One of my favorite actors of all time has Alzheimer’s, a terrible, terrible disease which the political party I grew up admiring does not take seriously.

TV Characters I Would Most Like to Date (Part II)

After quickly criticizing my friend’s picks for the ten most date-able female TV characters, I’m still not ready for The Final Countdown.  But I’d thought I’d share my thoughts so far.

I’ve broken down over thirty potential picks into categories (the names of which are references to TV shows and episodes, for added cleverness).  I must warn you: if you haven’t seen the show I’m referring to at any given moment, you may be spoiled and/or confronted with references and quotations which will make no sense to you.

Also, feel free to post additional suggestions in the comments.  It is very, very likely that I have forgotten many, many characters, especially in older series which I have forgotten about.  (And on a related note, I realize that this list is fairly “contempo-heavy” as well, despite my plea for some classic TV characters.)

TV Characters I Would Most Like to Date (Part I)

In the comments, a friend (knowing my interests very well) asked for my input on a most pressing topic:

[M]y friend Justin and I made a list of the top ten most date-able female TV characters of all time. By “date-able” we mean a combination of looks, personality, sense of humor, ambition, etc. This is not a list of the best looking girls on TV. It’s literally, who would you like to get to know better.

They compiled their top ten list by (1) mutually agreeing upon eight characters, (2) each adding a veto-proof character, (3) each ranking the ten in order of dateability, and (4) merging the two rankings into a master list.  The list:

1. Pam Beesly (played by Jenna Fischer), The Office
2. Liz Lemon (played by Tina Fey), 30 Rock
3. Joan Holloway (played by Christina Hendricks), Mad Men
4. Lindsay Weir (played by Linda Cardellini), Freaks and Geeks
5. Sun Kwon (played by Yunjin Kim), Lost
6. The Waitress (played by Mary Elizabeth Ellis), It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
7. Elaine Benes (played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld
8. Karen Filipelli (played by Rashida Jones), The Office
9. Charlotte York (played by Kristin Davis), Sex and the City
10. Dana Scully (played by Gillian Anderson), The X Files

Honorable mentions:

• Rita (played by Charlize Theron), Arrested Development
• Olive Snook (played by Kristin Chenowith), Pushing Daisies
• Rose Nylund (played by Betty White), The Golden Girls
• Mel (played by Kristen Schaal), The Flight of the Concords

Right off the bat, there’s a pretty big problem with this list.  For rankings of the most dateable TV characters of all time, this list is incredibly heavy on contemporary characters.  Of the top ten, only four are on shows currently off the air, and two of those had feature film spinoffs in 2008.  The honorable mentions don’t fare much better in the regard (though Rose is a bit of an inspired choice).

My friend’s veto-proof pick is Sunny’s unnamed waitress.  And I think this is a terrible, terrible pick.  If we’re judging these fictional women on “a combination of looks, personality, sense of humor, ambition, etc,” how can she possibly make this list?  Sure, she’s cute.  And the actress is funny, but actress’ talent is irrelevant in this silly game.  The character is a recovering alcoholic whose main goal in life seems to be to convince Dennis to have sex with her (and if not Dennis, she will apparently settle for Danny DeVito’s Frank).  Thanks, but no thanks.

Again, if we are to judge a character by more their her looks, Theron’s Rita must be immediately disqualified, even from being an honorable mention.  In no way is an adult woman of her intelligence and social skills anywhere close to being datable.

Picking both Pam and Karen on The Office doesn’t sit right with me.  Especially since one of them has a personality, and the other doesn’t.  Expect to see Pam on my list, and though this will be blasphemy to the many guys I know who worship her, she won’t be Numero Uno.

The least obvious choice on the list, I think, is Lost’s Sun.  And I think it’s a pretty good one, all things considered.

I’m behind the times with Mad Men and Flight of the Concords, so I’m afraid I can’t quite comment on them.

In my next post, I’ll discuss in detail the many fantastic female TV characters I am considering for my top ten.  Stay tuned.

Hail Mary

NBC, which despite airing the two best comedies on television today (30 Rock and The Office), has still never recovered in the broadcast TV war since Seinfeld left the air a decade ago.

Their latest offensive in the war: replacing the 10 pm scripted drama hour with Jay Leno.

Rosie!

I’m with Mollie Hemingway on Rosie O’Donnell’s new variety show.

The thing that really annoys me about those fake news conference promos is the idea that we don’t remember who Rosie is.  Rosie, the problem isn’t that we don’t remember you — it’s that we do remember you, and we don’t like you.

Update: But I’d rather watch anything with Rosie than this garbage.

Jim and Pam, Take 2

Regarding my silly letter (described by a friend as “the dorkiest thing i’ve seen ALL day”): why didn’t this make the cut for last week’s episode?

more about "Jim and Pam, Take 2", posted with vodpod

Armisen’s Obama

Jocelyn Guest, on SNL’s Obama:

While Armisen handily pulled off the arduous task of poking fun at a man we’d follow off a cliff, many critics agreed that his interpretation left a little something to be desired. Fred neither looks nor sounds quite like Barry.

The New Yorker’s Kelefa Sanneh put it this way: “[Armisen] speeds up at the end of a phrase to make everything he says seem declarative, and the way he frowns as a sign that he’s listening intently—but not much more; his Obama has no backstory.” Because the rest of the political impressions on the show have been so spot on this season—Tina Fey’s Palin, Jason Sudeikis’ crazy-eyed Joe Biden—an imperfect Obama stands out. With four-years of Barack-baiting to go, it might be time for Michaels to let go of Armisen and pick a replacement. So now big question looms: Who, If anyone, shouuld Michaels hire to match the hype surrounding Obama himself?

Darrell Hammond’s Bill Clinton aside, most SNL presidential impressions have never been particularly accurate.  We still remember Dana Carvey’s George H.W. Bush not because he actually sounded or looked like the man but because he spoke to our idea of him.

As for the two impressions from this season Sanneh praises, Fey’s Palin works so well not just because Fey looks and sounds a lot like Palin (and she does, of course), but because Palin is an easy target.  The jokes practically write themselves.  Likewise with Joe Biden.  Sudeikis’ impression isn’t nearly as precise (in appearance, voice, mannerisms) as Armisen’s Obama.  But it’s funny because Biden is funny.  Obama isn’t.

The bigger problem is that since Fey left to go do 30 Rock, SNL’s writing has suffered tremendously.  Despite the immensely talented cast, SNL typically only has two or three genuinely funny sketches.

A Open Letter to Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly

Jim and Pam,

You don’t know me, but over the past few years, I feel that I have gotten to know you both very well, thanks to the documentary crew that films you and your Dunder-Mifflin associates.

I felt like I was there on Casino Night when Jim confessed his love, and the two of you shared that first kiss.  I felt like I was there when Jim returned to Scranton with a new girlfriend.  I felt like I was there on Beach Day when Pam finally summoned the courage to be honest with Jim.

I felt like I was there when Jim asked Pam if she would be free for dinner; when the two of you held hands during Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin, Scranton, Meredith Palmer memorial, celebrity rabies awareness, fun run Pro-Am race for the cure; and when Jim proposed.

And through it all, I have been rooting for the two of you to make it as a couple.

I still want you to make it as a couple, and that is why I am writing you.  While I do not doubt your love for one another, I am worried about the health of your relationship.